Provocation is a BDsM play party is designed for all levels of play, learning and sociability from the experienced lifestylers through to the neo fetishist, the first timer, the newbie, novice, explorer, the participant and all those in-between.
General entry to Provocation is $25 without membership and $20 if you have a membership. Membership is $39.95 per year. You can purchase a membership card at Provocation nights or you can pay online www.OzKinkFest.com. You will receive online membership access and a kink link plastic membership tag. Please email email@example.com us to find out more.
Information about attending Provocation BDSM Club:
If you are new to the scene, and plan to attend Provocation for the first time, please introduce yourself at the door and we will show you around 🙂 From 9.30 – 10 pm there will be a basic information and demonstration session for those interested.
- Please provide your own toys.
- Cloak facility available.
- Dress code is Fetish – minimum basic black.
- This is a friendly, knowledgeable crowd – and a very fun place to spend a sexy fun night.
- No cameras are allowed – but our photographer will be on hand to take pictures with your permission.
- It’s ok to watch what’s going on
- If people are playing in public, they’re ok with you checking it out
- While some things translate very well to playing in public, there is no standard of what you’re supposed to be doing. There is no ‘supposed to’
- Come in with an open mind particularly about peoples outfits – its everything you could imagine and more
- Smile at people and introduce yourself
- Do not interrupt people playing – do not get too close – be aware of play space
- After you have watched a play most people are ok with you approaching and asking questions as long as you introduce yourself and be respectful – if they are not approachable leave them alone.
- No one is your Dom or sub unless it is negotiated so don’t treat people in any manner other than mutual respect – do not expect attention from people attending, nothing is a given.
- Don’t touch people or their personal equipment without permission. You will notice that people in the scene can be touchy and huggy. They know each other. People should not be touching you if you don’t want them to. BDSM culture is stricter about touch than you’re used to. If someone is touching you without asking, they know, or should, that they’re crossing the line. On your part, remember that even a friendly touch on the arm can turn weird under BDSM social rules; even if it seems goofy, ask first.
- If you are looking for a mentor, look at your peers. If you are a submissive, find an experienced submissive to mentor you. I.e., not a dominant! Lots of dominants are lovely people who will give you great guidance, but most don’t know what it’s like being a submissive, and there’s also a big risk of conflict of interest. If you don’t have an official mentor, at least have a close submissive friend. Go to them with your “X wants to play with me, are they cool?” and “X wants to do Y with me and I feel Z about it, what do you think?”
- Practice saying “No, thank you”. Be firm but polite. You may get many offers – much more than what you are used to in vanilla life. One big difference from vanilla culture: simply asking is almost never impolite. Someone saying “would you like me to beat you?”, even if it seems a little bit out of the blue, is not being creepy. It’s only creepy if they fail to take the first “no” for a clear and final answer. That’s when you need to find your ally or Dungeon Master/Mistress and tell them you need backup.
- Ask for what you want, when you are ready and with the person you have negotiated a “scene” with. And don’t be afraid to ask for something simple and mild. This one is important! You will see some people playing very “heavy” at play parties. They are certainly the most eye-catching but this does not make them best at BDSM, or the realest, or anything like that. “I want to get your drinks tonight” is just as legit a desire as “I want to be your slave.” “I want to spank you a little” is just as real as “I want to suspend you from the ceiling and beat you with a cane.”
- We have the opinion that while your kink may not be our kink – respect is compulsory
- Remember that women who prey on men, and submissives who prey on dominants, do exist
Getting started in BDSM How does one get started in BDSM? One of the most important things to remember about BDSM is that no one but you and your partner(s) can decide what is right for you. How you play is right as long as you are happy. There is no set of rules defining what you must or must not do in order to be practicing BDSM. There are no minimum time requirements, there is generally no one looking over your shoulder approving or disapproving of what you are doing. The times this gets complicated is when you’re playing with someone new, ALWAYS take the time to negotiate and talk before you play.
Meeting people from online
- take your time – get a “feel” for the person before you meet
- talk on the ‘phone a few times before arranging to meet
- meet in a public place
- don’t immediately accept an invitation to their place, unless you know they are genuine
- meet in a place where other people are present
- don’t get picked up from your home
- always provide your own transportation to and from your meeting place
- tell a friend where you’re meeting your date, where you are going and when you will return
- leave your date’s name and phone number with a friend, or where they can be found if you return late
- send yourself an email saying where you are playing, with whom, when you will return, and their contact details
- call a friend to say you are safe when you have met your date
- agree a “signal” that will tell a friend if you are worried
- if you invite someone to your home, don’t leave any valuables on show, or leave your date alone – unless you know they are genuine. Use your judgment; remember that you make the decisions:
- you decide when you feel comfortable meeting someone
- you’re never obligated to get together with anyone, no matter how many e-mails or messages you’ve exchanged
- if you don’t feel comfortable once you meet your date you can simply leave and go home – don’t continue if you don’t feel you want to. If in doubt…don’t go out!
There are a number of practical steps you can take to reduce the risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs):
- Practice safer-sex to minimise the risk of sexually transmitted infections.
- Use condoms and plenty of water-based lube for anal sex.
- Do not use oil-based lubes with condoms unless they are specifically designed to be used in that situation – many oils will cause latex condoms to weaken.
- Whilst it is commonly viewed that oral sex has a lower risk of transmitting HIV and some other STIs, some people choose to minimise that risk further by using condoms.
- Latex squares called Dams are available for rimming.
- Gloves are recommended for Fisting.
- Insertable equipment and toys such as sounds, dildos, butt plugs or douches should be thoroughly sterilised following each use and certainly before using on another person. Ideally they should only be used on one person.
- Using a new condom over a dildo or butt plug will help prevent cross infection.
- Floggers, whips, paddles, etc. should be sterilised appropriately, especially if skin has been broken.
- Contact your local sexual health clinic for more information on Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) prevention methods.
Safer play is about being aware of possible risks and deciding what action to take to minimise them.
- Two common acronyms within the BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) scene are SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). Whole books and website have been written on this, but much is down to your own personal judgment.
- Ensure you know your partner’s limits. Talk about them in advance, either online or in person. And stick to the agreed limits!
- If you are into bondage or any kind of BDSM play, agree a “safe-word” up-front. This is a code word that means “Stop!”. It should be something you can remember easily and that won’t come up in the normal course of conversation. When you say it, your partner knows it’s a signal that something is wrong and that they should immediately stop. Always STOP if your partner asks you to. A common “safeword” system is Red, Amber, Green:
- Red = STOP NOW
- Amber = Approaching Red
- Green = I’m fine!
- If playing with gags or any form of headgear, ensure that a safe action (instead of a safe-word) is agreed, as your partner may be unable to talk. Ensure that there is a clear means by which they can signal that they are in difficulty.
- If you restrain your partner, check their circulation and breathing regularly. Do not leave a restrained person alone – for any reason – always be in the room with them. Do not place ropes around the throat, or tightly round the chest. There are courses available for those interested in learning about safer Bondage and S&M.
- Keep a pair of strong blunt ended scissors (or medical shears) handy, in case you need to get your partner loose quickly. Avoid pointed scissors or knives as you could cause more damage.
- Be aware that your play partner needs to breathe, so don’t cover the nose and mouth at the same time. Breath control is an extremely dangerous sexual practice. Make sure you know the risks and learn the basics of CPR/resuscitation.
- If you or your partner have any specific medical conditions (e.g. epilepsy, allergies), are on any medication, or suffer from any phobias (e.g. claustrophobia), ensure both of you are aware of this, and comfortable to proceed.
Want more advice on specific risks? There are many resources offering good advice available on the internet or in lifestyle books. You can also talk to people who are into it, most people are happy to help or offer advice where they can.
Drugs and Alcohol
- If you’ve never taken drugs or alcohol don’t experiment on a date or in a scene where you cannot readily get help if needed
- Don’t feel obliged to take drugs or alcohol if offered, remember that you make the decisions.
- Don’t accept drinks or drugs from people if you are unsure as to what they may contain.
- Do not leave drinks un-attended in clubs or bars.
- Never use drugs that may alter your ability to notice when your partner is in difficulty, or their ability to tell you.
- Drugs and alcohol can alter self-awareness and you may not realise that something doesn’t feel right.
- Have frequent breaks in longer sessions and allow your partner to cool down.
- Drink plenty of water, and re-hydrate regularly.
Your Provocation hosts for the night are:
Dungeon Mistress: Mz Mallice (FET LIFE Nick : MistressMallice)
Door Bitch and Pit Bull: Mallum (FET LIFE Nick : Mallum)
Butler & photographer: Frank Zappa (FET LIFE Nick : steponme)
Lesbian Hand Bag: Craig Property of Mistress Mallice